unknown times

There is nothing harder as a wife, then to see your husband weak. To see pressure, and a look of hopelessness. To know that it is out of your hands, and you can't do anything about it. To hope and pray that he would know to place it in God's, this is easy to a women, but harder to a man.

My husband, the love of my life, is a hard worker, since we were dating, he has nothing but supply everything I have ever needed with the works of his hands. He enjoys working and seeing the benefits of the fruit of his labor. He's thrown papers his entire a life, a hard job, a good job, and he was good, to some it may not seem like anything, but to him it was everything, he was the fastest around, people would comment on him when he was at work, he found pleasure in it. I think out of all the things he has done, he has known this is what he was the best at. Men need that, to know they are good, and to be the best. Unfortunately, He lost half of his route, and it's not sure if he will lose the other half, due to uniting of newspapers. And, yes, we have lost a good amount of money coming in. Now we are faced with an obstacle, in this time of life, in our country, where jobs are limited, and with limited education, or job skills, my husband is feeling the pressure. I wish I could find him the perfect job, the right amount of money, but I can't, but I know God can. I wish I could tell people, it's my husband you need, he's loyal, a hard worker, he'll do right by you, he's smart, he's gifted, he'll give his all to you, just pick him for the job. I'm just believing God will speak all that.

When he came home from work the other day, and I could see that he looked defeated, I prayed, and I remember in Cinderella Man, when she told her husband that he was the "champion of her heart", I wanted to say those words to Benji, but I think he would of laughed and not took me seriously. So I listened to his concerns, and the whole time I was thinking, God IS Bigger, and I quietly asked God what to say. And the only thing I needed to say, was I believe in him, I know he can find a way. I know what he's capable of, well make it, we will, I believe were going to make it better this time. I'm not going to keep asking my husband what he's going to do, I'm sure that question is playing over and over again in his head, instead in every way of everyday, I will let him know I believe in him, however that comes through, in words or actions. In fact that is all I had to say, and he began looking hopeful again, he had ideas, and plans, and I'm just trusting that they are from God.

I will not worry, God is in control, and He has placed my husband as leader and provider over our house, I know that through Him, Benji will become what God has truly designed him for.
I am so thankful for Benji, I know that if we lost everything, but still had each other, our kids, and our health, there is nothing greater than that. So thank you Lord, for all we have, in your hands it stays, to protect, to guide, and tend to.