Words

I have been struggling with a negative attitude lately. I've noticed the words coming out of my mouth, even though I just wrote a blog on how I was going to stop. It's been hard. Just when I think I have things under control and I get peace about one situation, another one comes along challenging me. I'm quick to complain I must admit, I'm quick to say things over my life that are negative. Let me give you an example, Our 10 year anniversary is coming up and I'm already letting myself be disappointment when it hasn't even happened yet. I'm so thrilled to be at 10 years and still be happy, it's just that I know my husband, and I'm afraid that he won't do anything.
There's a lot more it to that, but I'm going to stop myself because I'm learning the power in my words. Last night in class my eyes were opened to the truth, how much power we have in our words. How God spoke things into existence, spoke them, He could of created the earth anyway, but he spoke it, and there was earth! From the very beginning God was showing us how much power is in words, the words we use make things happen. Wow how much power words have, it's why throughout the bible it warns us to use our words wisely, because we have power to make things happen. I'm challenging myself with words right now, to speak positive things over my life. To say that our 10 year is going to be the best anniversary I've ever had. To speak that my husband is going to accomplish great things, to say that I will be blessed more than I ever know, to tell a friend healing is on the way, to say my sister will be saved, that my parents will get together even when all circumstances say otherwise, that my kids will grow and be strong followers after God, to remind myself my house is coming, that God is always doing something for His purpose not my own, and that I have a purpose and God will reveal it to me.

In The Quiet

It has been quiet, which I don't usually like. I've felt as if I haven't had any words to say in this quiet time. I don't do well in quiet times, I like the noise, the busyness, because when it's busy I feel as though I have purpose. I think I'm waiting to find my purpose in this quiet time, waiting for God to speak, to show up, and tell me His next plan.

Today I figured out I didn't have it right, isn't that the way we always are? Thinking we know what we are waiting for? Holding on to preconceived ideas of what God has for us. Waiting for something better than what we already have? When will we be content? This is an area I struggle with, always wanting whats next before I've done what is already laid out before me. As I did my lesson for this week (After His Heart) I realized what I was going about things all wrong. As I read "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps" proverbs 16:8 something began awakening in me. Hope. Hope that God knows the true plans of my heart and He has been directing my steps. I feel as I've been planning to many courses, and not knowing which steps to take.

In the lesson I also learned that God gives us each our own garden to tend, as He gave Adam in the beginning. I began to realize I wasn't tending to my garden(my husband, my kids, my household) the way I should be, I've been looking past my garden in hopes that new gardens are sprouting. I keep thinking God has more for me, but I realized God wants me to enjoy first the beauty of my garden, and wait for the fruits that are to come. I've been wanting to start new gardens, and try to tend to them, resulting in neglect to my first garden, having to much to tend to, and not giving the time it deserves. God wants my garden to produce so much fruit, that it grows in itself, having one big garden, instead of many. I realized that I was missing the sprouts of new things in my existing garden, while I was looking for my next garden. God wants to give me new things that line up with what I already have, not pull me away from them.

I realized I wanted to be put in charge of many things with out being faithful with a few things. like in the parable Jesus told his followers about the servant who, in the absence of their master, were given talents to invest. To those who had invested their talents wisely the mater said "you have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things" (This was taken from After His Heart book) I feel the reason it's been quiet is because I've been missing out on what I've already been given, wanting more than I already have, resulting in neglect to those who I'm called to tend. I've been waiting to hear what God has planned next, when it's already been given to me. In the quiet the only things I hear have been what I've already been given, I just didn't realize it was God speaking through Benji asking me to love him, the kids needing me to care for them, and a household crying out for the owner to tend to it.

Lord forgive me for crying out for you to lead, and feeling like you haven't been, when all along in the quiet you have been directing my steps. Forgive me for not tending to the things you have already given to me, it's my heart desire to tend to these things and only you know this. They really are the things all along that make me genuinely happy, thank you for each of them. I know that if I am faithful with these few things You will bless me with many things. Remind me in the quiet that You are still speaking, and to hold on for what you are doing.

Trust,...Faith....Hope

Lost in emotions. Lost in lies. I had the truth, but I couldn't keep a hold of it. I grasped it in my hands, but only to have it stolen right before my eyes. I didn't even realize it was stolen until I heard the words coming out of my mouth. No trust, no faith, no hope. I can't believe those words have been mine, although they haven't been those words exactly, they have meant the same thing. No more I'm taking back what is rightfully mine, Trust, Faith, and Hope. I'm clinging on to them tighter this time, putting them in my mind, around my heart, and deep with in my soul. I won't listen to the lies, I won't speak them anymore, I will only Trust in You, have Faith in You, and Hope in You.

Thats my......

This morning while working out I was enjoying talking to God about my kids, I was thanking Him for the things that make my kids stand out to me. The things that capture my heart, the things that will help me remember who they are as individuals . Brennan loves playing games with me, right now it's dominoes, and I must admit I think I enjoy it more than he does. He loves jokes, making us laugh, being silly any time he can. Leighton is full of exaggeration when she tells a story, it's almost like it's happening again as she's speaking it. It's as if she gets lost in a world that is only in her head. I love listening to her, and asking the perfect question to see her mind trail off again. Hayden is my yellow, every time I see the color yellow I have to thank God, and sometimes I even joke with Him that He made it just for Hayden. Hayden loves to go on bear hunts with me right now, and oh how I enjoy these moments, letting him lead me to an imaginary world, and waiting for the next obstacle we'll have to face. He's the one that never forget to kiss or hug me. Cohen, when I think of him, it's the orange hat and sword in his shirt. He takes it every where, and people are always asking why the sword? It's some kind of security I always tell them, we let him take it anywhere he wants, letting him be who he is. Enjoying the kid in him. He's our stubborn one, set in his own ways, doing things his own way. Ashlyn has a smile that I can't wait to see. It brings so much joy to my heart.She is learning knew things everyday, and I love to watch her figure things out. Every time she says a new word, I want to jump up and down and clap I think it's the best sound ever. As I was thinking about all these things at the end of each little glimpse, I would say that's my Brennan, that's my Leighton....Hayden....Cohen....Ashlyn..

Then the voice that I knew as no other, spoke such simple words to my heart. That's my Keri, I heard and immediately started to sob, because I felt His love, as if He had just got done saying the things He loves about me. It was a rare and precious moment, that only lasted a moment, but I'll remember the rest of my life.

God love us so much, much more than we could even begin to fathom. When all we can see is how we never measure up, He gives us these rare glimpses of His love for us. He always knows the right words, at the right time to reveal how much He watches us, Loves us, and enjoys the time we give Him. Just as I treasure my kids for everything they are, God treasures you for everything you are.

Opening the owners manual

I'm taking this class on Thursday nights called After His Heart, which I absolutely love and have encouraged every one I know to take it. It has changed my life. I was reading my lesson for this week, and something got my attention in the lesson. That I felt compelled to share. It opened my eyes to the truth in God's word. It was talking about the time we live in and how people say that we live in a different time, old ways don't apply, women have more rights, and how we need to change with the time in our marriages. How many women live for themselves know, and are just looking for their needs to be fulfilled.The book was stating how wrong this mentality is and that God's way is always right. That He created marriage so only He truly knows how it should work and is, not was, meant to be. Times have changed, the houses we live in, the cars we drive, the clothes we wear, the technology we have, and so on and so forth, but how God intended things to be has not. The word is very clear on how we are suppose to live. But this did not just get me on marriage, it made me realize how many times I've heard in a Christian circle, that times have changed, to reach people we can't do it the way it use to be, we have to be with the time, meet the needs of this generation. But I was quick to realize how wrong this statement is also. That even in this we have to look to God's word and do it His way. By telling people about God, loving them as Christ has loved us, living by example and letting them see Christ in us. Yes how we do this can vary, but it is not our focus. We don't have to introduce God with worldly things, we just have to introduce God for who God is. We don't need all the "stuff", we just need God, the blood of Jesus, and the Holy spirit. Those are the tools He has given us. If we really want to touch this generation, we need to look at how God's word instructs us to do, after all He created His children, doesn't He know what they need?

This brought a whole new meaning to my life in every area, Just the fact that God created everything, marriage, children, families, the church.....everything. We need to look to Him to do it right. I know I have read many books, asked many people, but from now on I'm going to ask, does this line up with what Gods word has to say. God created everything, so only He knows how it is intended to be, and how it works best. I know when we bought our van, we didn't know how to use it to it's fullest, the gps system, the dvd player, even how to move the seats around, we had to look to the owners manual to figure things out. We didn't want to mess things up, we would get frustrated trying to do it on our own, resulting to getting the manual out and realizing how much time we would have saved, and frustration levels if we would have just open the manual in the first place. Isn't God our owner and the Bible our manual? In every area of my life I am trying to realize that God created me, and I need to use His manual to be all that He has called me to be.

Date night

Tonight will be full of, steeling little moments when no-one else will see. holding your hand in mine, and looking into your eyes. remembering it has been to long, and how much we needed this. hanging out with friends and feeling young again. For just a night, we'll have no responsibilities, except to love each other. Tonight I will hand over my heart to just you. Giving little reminders through the night of the love we feel inside. I can't do anything,except be in love with you. Can't wait for tonight, I love you.

Another year off to school. Today was a good day, you both were so excited. At home you will be greatly missed. I know these are the early steps to becoming who God has called you to be. I pray for only good things, and protection over you everyday. I thank God for my "little gifts" and gladly take on the role of being your mom, to love and guide you every step in finding out who God has called you to be. I promise I will encourage you both in your gifts, and always seek out God for what is the best for your lives. I don't take this responsibility lightly for I know that God has placed His children in my care, and I know that one day I will have to answer to Him, for you both. What a beautiful gift I have, I have grown to love God even more for giving you to me. I hope that is how you always feel, like you are my gift, not a burden I have to carry, or a just another responsibility, but like you are every thing I have ever wanted.

Brennan, do you know how proud we are of you. You always do your best and it is way above our expectations. You have the most gentle spirit, and loving personality. You never go unnoticed, because you are always giving all that you can in every area of your life. When I speak of you, I hope people notice the sparkle in my eye. The one that gleams to tell everyone what a special boy you really are. I believe you try your best to do what is right, to please God and your parents. It comes from the heart, you really want to be the best you can be. All around me, people are constantly reminding me how special you are. I am so honored to be your mom. You bring a joy to this house and in my heart that I wish I could explain to you everyday. You were my first born little blessing, and for that you will always have a special place in my heart. I love watching you grow, and become more of a young man. I pray over your life that it would be blessed every step you make. Son know that you are loved more than you will ever know, know that Mommy and Daddy are so proud of who you are.

Leighton, Do you know how special you are? Do you know how smart you are? I hope you know what a gift you are to us. Every day of our lives you bring a love to this household, that is treasured in my heart. You have beauty like I've never seen, but this beauty is not only on the outside, it comes deep from with in. It's a beauty that affects those around you, they see your gentle heart, your loving spirit, and your giving nature. You are a rare find, and I am so blessed that God has allowed me to call you my own. I have never met a child that cares so much about the little things, you help us to remember those around us. You never let a care or a person go unnoticed, you want to know everyone, to really know them for who they are. I am so proud of you, I know that this year is going to be a good year, because you believe in yourself. Leighton if I could tell you anything, it would be to believe in yourself always, to know the power you have from with in, to know that Me and Daddy believe in you, that whatever you set your hands to it will succeed. We love you so much, we are so so very proud of you.


God, I thank you for these kids you have given me. I am so honored to call them my children. I thank you that by loving them, I learn everyday how much you love me. How great a God I serve, that always has given me more than I could ever ask for. I humbly thank you.

Dream

I'm a dreamer, I'm constantly dreaming of new things. I dream of the future and what it will be like. I dream of being something "great", as Jack Harris spoke about last Sunday, and changing lives around me. I am constantly dreaming of new ways I can be used, and asking God to put new dreams in me.

Being a dreamer is both good and bad. A dreamer can change the world, Martin Luther King did when he spoke the famous words "I have a dream" It always takes a "dream" or an idea to make something happen. When something major changed in history and became apart of our history, it started with a dream. We are free as Americans because some one once dreamed we could all be free. A dreamer is the beginning of greatness. A dreamer is the reason we have so much, because at some point he/she believed in their dream. However there can be a bad side to a dreamer, a dreamer can live in a dream world, and tend to neglect the reality they have already been given. A dreamer can think they can do it all, and give more of them selves than they should be. A dreamer usually takes on more than they can handle, for the passion inside tells them to do so. A dreamer can get a head of themselves and see the prize, before enduring the journey.

As a dreamer, I am constantly thinking of changing professions, to help the world. I have often thought about going back to school to become a teacher, a nurse, and a counselor. I am constantly dreaming of new businesses I can start. I have also thought about packing my family up and becoming missionaries, because my heart brakes for so many people that are with out. I am always thinking of ways I can help the "church." I think the problem is I haven't truly found "My dream." The dream God puts inside of me. I am constantly trying to do God's will that I am dreaming of ways to fulfill it, instead of allowing God to give me a dream and allow Him to lead me in fulfilling His dream for me.

I have to find the balance in being a dreamer. I have to find a dream, and stay focused on that. Martin Luther King did not say "I have many dreams" He had one, that started to build more dreams in him and others. I wonder if he knew the power in his dream, and how many people it would greatly affect? I'm asking God to put that one dream in my life, that will most likely turn into other dreams, but to stay focused on the dream He has given me. I'm going to wait and hear upon the Lord. My dreams have to completely line up with what I have already been given.

So I am laying down all of my dreams, and allowing God to put mine inside of me to fulfill the desire of my heart to do something "great". I am going to be quiet and wait upon the Lord. I will rest in the things that have already been given to me, and stop searching for more. I will be thankful for the dreams He has already fulfilled in my life. I will always have hope in God that He has way more than I will ever know. The things I dream for will no longer be by my standards, but His alone. I will have complete peace that He knows better for me than I do. That there are dreams He has for me that I can't begin to fathom, that He has fulfilled dreams that I didn't even realize I dreamt about. I will only "dream" if it has been given to me to do so. I will no longer chase the dream, but seek after God for the "dream" in my life.

Stuck

I am stuck at home, with 6 kids today, we are out of milk, and many other things. I need to go to the store, Ashlyn needs her milk, but this means packing 5 kids and my nephew to the store to get milk. I know this sounds crazy but just this little thing is overwhelming me, and is making me cry. It's not the fact that we need, it's just the story of my life right now. I would love to have the freedom to pick up and leave any moment I desired to do so. I think this is something I took for granted 2 or 3 kids ago. It's just frustrating that I can't do anything about it, or my life is scheduled around other people.

The problem with this is how I feel about my life as a whole, stuck and not being able to do anything about it. Desires and dreams I have are either stuck by circumstances or I have no control over the decisions . I hate not being able to do the things I need to do or dream to see happen. I would never give up what I have to make things easier, never! I just wish it were easier.

It's hard being pulled so many different ways. Wanting my husband to have all his desires, and to feel as he has a purpose, but not being able to give them to him, because it's not in my hands. It's letting my children do all the things they want to do, and encouraging all their talents, but not having the time to do it all. Then trying to squeeze in a little time here and there for me, and my dreams.

It's not impossible I know, I know in time all things will come. I know I need to live for a time such as this, and only do what I can right now. It's a struggle that I'm having and hopefully will just begin to understand that the things we need or want are not always easy to get, but it doesn't change the fact that we still need them. It doesn't change the fact that circumstances are there and they get in the way sometimes, but ultimately what we need and want are worth over coming these circumstances. It's always worth the fight when victory is at the end.

Represent

The other day I was talking to my sister, we were taking about how God uses us to do His work. I was quickly reminded that God had to use Jesus (man) to reveal who He was. That when the miracles happened it was through a man that they happened. I fully understand that Jesus is God, but I also understand that God was showing us something when He sent a man to do His will.

I began to wonder how many times I had missed God, waiting for God to answer in some supernatural way. It's like I always wanted an angel to appear or God's voice to fill my room, to give me the answers I so desperately searched for. I began to wonder did I miss God through words of a parent, a gift from a friend, a shoulder to cry on of a husband, advise from a sister, encouragement from a stranger, and so on. How many times had God spoken that I didn't even hear?

I believe, through us, we represent who God is. When we love people, give our gifts, speak over them, remember them, take time to spend with them, and be there to listen when they so desperately need someone. We represent God when we allow Him to use us, and when we seek Him for ways to love one another.

I also have to repent. The same way we can represent God in a good way, I think we could also represent Him in a bad way. It's why so many people don't want anything to do with "the whole God thing" Have you ever noticed how much the world criticizes Christians?, it's because they are watching us. When I yell at my kids, I realized I'm representing God to them, when I don't show my husband the love he deserves, how is that reflecting God? When I speak unkind things about someone, or say things are hopeless, when I began to care only about me and what I want, all these things are representing God. I understand that we are human, and that we sin and fall. Only God is God. That it is by His glory, that I am saved. I also believe people need to see us be real, but I also believe that everyday, in our lives, we need to represent who God is and give Him the glory in the way we live out our lives.

I'm going to recognize God in people more, and also remember that I represent God to others. I'm going to thank Him for the relationships and people He has put over me. I'm going to love the ones around me, the way God would want them to be loved. I'm going to ask did I represent God, to the fullest, when I loved my husband, played with my children, disciplined my kids, honored my mother and father, talked with a friend, smiled at a stranger, enjoyed the company of my family, and worshiped God in every way of my life?

Through the storm

Last night when the sky was looking green and dark, when the lighting was constantly going, and the thunder was beginning to roll. I let fear in. I hate when I do this, I use to be the one outside waiting for the storm to come. I love the feel of a good storm, I love watching the wind pick up and the tree's begin to do that familiar dance. I love the show the sky begins to put on for all to see. It's beautiful really. When the rain comes down, it's a song deep inside of me. I still do love a good storm, I love to cuddle up on the couch, turn off all the lights, and watch the beautiful display, and hear the wonderful sounds it creates. Last night I didn't do this, Benji was at work, Me, Brennan and Leighton were watching celebrity family feud, (Brennan is really into game shows) and the storm warnings on the t.v. came in, I had just put Hayden, Cohen, and Ashlyn to bed, I began to look outside, and fear came. I would have been fine if it was just me, but since I've had kids, I am scared of not keeping them safe. What if Ashlyn is up stairs sleeping and a tree falls on our house, so I think I need to get her downstairs in my arms where she is safe. Or what if a tornado comes and Hayden and Cohen are in their rooms sleeping, can I get them fast enough. I'm in charge of 5 kids and only have 2 arms. So I let fear tell me that they all need to be right by me. Our satalite was also out, so I kept checking the internet for more updates on the storm. After about 20 minutes, I was like this is ridiculous it's not even a bad storm, God is protecting us, so I began to put the kids back to bed, and I began to have peace. I chose to trust that even if I couldn't get to each of my kids fast enough, God was watching over them, and I had to trust no harm would come to my family.

Later on that night, I opened up my bible, and began to have my quite time. Night just works out better for me, due to since the minute I wake up it's about the kids. I was reading Mark 4: 35-42 when Jesus calms the storm, I didn't even realize what I was reading until, I asked the Holy Spirit what is this saying. I never want to just read something and miss the point. I didn't understand why Jesus was sleeping with his head on a cushion, and His followers asked Him if He cared that they were drowning. He stood up commanded the storm to stop, and then asked "why are you afraid, do you still not have faith?" I understood the point of the disciples asking don't you care, I've asked God that many times, and He has shown me He always does. But the part about why was Jesus sleeping, and why did he ask " do you still not have faith?" Then the question rose in my own spirit, "How many storms (in life) will I have to face and Jesus calm before I have faith to trust in him?" and "When will I be able to rest my head knowing that God is in control?" I learned something new about myself last night, that when storms come, (hard trials in my life) I always let fear in at first, then I cry out to God for help, and He always calms the storm, But I never just rest and know that He is in control. Just like last night during the real storm, I asked the "what if this happens"but soon realized God was in control and peace came. I need to realize first and foremost that He is in control, and have complete rest, lay my head on my cushion (God) just as Jesus showed us through the storm. I'm going to once again remember the beauty of the storm. I'm going to remember during storms, something is happening. Just like the earth is getting watered, fed, and growing stronger, so am I during my storms. As the tree's, flowers, grass, and plants always accept the storm, I will have rest accepting mine.

Put in my place once again

I was laying in bed last night praying and hoping for more. I want my house, I've wanted it for so long, and yet it is still not here. I have trouble with this one, because it can really bring me down. Trust me I know how much I have to be thankful for, and how much I have been giving. But I often wonder why not my house. I struggle really bad with this. I've never been "in love" with the house I have, yes I'm grateful that I have a roof over my head, and a happy home. I'm aware of the fact that millions of people are with out a home, or don't have nothing compared to what I have. I'm just saying it's a struggle. I've watched family and friends find the house they have always wanted, and I truly have been happy for them, but I wonder "Lord when is it my turn." Maybe thats the problem, there isn't a turn. Maybe I'm missing something that God is trying to teach me. Or maybe not. I often want to blame Benji thinking if he cared more, we would have our house. Sometimes I just think he would be content living here forever, he would, but I want him to want to try for me. I've understand in the past how a move was not the time, and I know now it is not possible, it just brings me back to "Lord when is it my turn." I just feel sick of dreaming, I want to go looking for the perfect house, have the excitement of moving in. I've really never had that. Benji has dreamed of building me a house, and we have sat many times at the kitchen table drawing up plans for our house. It's always a dream, I'm just more than ready for reality. I just want security in jobs and finances to have everything we hope for. I know that some of the things I wrote are not true and lies. I understand that my husband wants to give me everything I want, and if I tell him he hasn't' I would make him feel like a failure. So I won't. I'll just keep asking "Lord when is it my turn" and trust that He is making plans for my desires, I will trust that no matter what happens He is in control. I will begin believing instead of complaining, and speak of only things I have to be thankful for. I will only tell Benji how proud I am of how hard he works for what we have. I will only sing praises to God for what I have been so graciously given. I will repent for doubting that God is not in control, for complaining, for hungering after the things of this world, instead of the things of God. I will remember that there is no turns, that God is doing something for me all the time. I will praise Him for what He has given to others and stand happy for them. I will get on my knee's and remember that He is God, Creator of all things, more Powerful than anything. King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I will cry out and thank Him that He loved me, little oh me so much, that He gave His only Son, So that I could be free. Who needs a house now!!! Thank you Lord for reminding me once again, who YOU are.

Draw me close

Thought I would just share one of my favorite worship songs, it's the cry of my heart right now. It's the song I pray that my family would remember, and it would be planted into their soul. It's a reminder that He really is all I need.



Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire
No one else will do
'Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You

You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near

Living out God in my life

I have really been seeing God in the little things lately. It's like the holy spirit has awaken inside and has been revealing God in so many ways. It's like the blinders on my eyes have been lifted and I see His glory. I know His glory was always there, I think I was seeing the other side of things, the side where I was waiting for my glory and not His own.

We were off to family camp, and I had expressed my concerns, but then chose to enjoy what it is and not what I thought it was going to be like. At times I had a moment of sadness, but I rejoiced in what I believe is going to happen, at what God is doing even when I can't see with my own eyes. With this mentality, I saw God at Family camp. To see God at family camp is really amazing, because the family is really lost. He was there working and revealing Himself in so many ways.
First of all His beauty was all around, in the sky's and the tree's. I stopped at times in awe of what he had created. Sometimes when there was a huge spider, I had to ask why? but I was quickly reminded even though I do not like the spiders there is a purpose, and they are good. So I had another reminder, even though I may not like things, it is God who understands the purpose of the things we created. We just have to trust, and if we ask, He will show us.

God was with me. I didn't realize how much, until my family members kept giving me compliments of His Glory. They saw the love of God, when I told my husband he had the most amazing eyes, and how much I love him. When we held hands, and stole those little moments. When we loved our kids openly in front of them all. When I spoke only good things about my husband, and encouraged them to do the same. One of my cousins at one point told me that her and her husband wanted to emulate our marriage. Another had said they hoped to have what we have someday. Another asked for advise on how to get what we have, and said she believed I gave her the keys to a happy marriage. Little did she know I was giving her God's advise, not my own.

On the way home from the trip, I saw a little antique shop, in Versallias, Indiana. I had asked Benji if I could stop and look for a gift for a friend. I definitely saw God when my husband said sure, with no complaint. Benji usually will stop for nothing when he wants to get home. I went inside, I have never stepped into a antique shop in my life, I was looking for one friend, and God reminded me of another. There they were the exact things she had said she wanted in someone's house in Missouri. Who thought you would have to find them in Indiana. God knew, and he led me there I believe, with out me even knowing it. To remind this friend, the desires of her heart are not only hers but his. And to remind me that, in all of my freindships to remember a very special one He put in my life. That when you go out of your way to love someone, you are revealing God to that person.

I am not trying to toot my own horn here, I am just trying to remember that living for God is the most rewarding thing I could ever do. That He shines through me, and on to others just as His word say so. That we don't have to get up on a pulpit and tell people what they need to do, we just have to live it out, and show them the living, loving, merciful, giving, accepting, wonderful, glorious, powerful, God He is.