I am smart

As I was hanging Leighton's 100% spelling and math test on the refrigerator yesterday, I was brought back to all the struggles she had last year, and how far she has come. How far I have come through this experience. I hope I always share this story with her, and that forever she knows how proud I am of her. I am brought to tears when I think about last year, how hard school had been on her, how I felt like a failure as a parent. I questioned what I was doing wrong, and I constantly asked myself what I could be doing more. When I spoke to the teacher, and the teacher used the words insecure to describe Leighton, it was like a stab in my heart. I can barely type these words as I'm writing them, because of the tears that have started to poor. I just remember thinking how can you call her insecure, that is not my little girl. Have you really seen her, she's beautiful, has the best personality, loves others, is a goof ball, always is going out of her way to get noticed, she tells the best stories, this girl is a rare find. I realized that the teacher meant that Leighton was insecure about her abilities in school, so as we were sitting down at the table doing her homework, and she was struggling to read and understand, I said "Leighton you can do this, you are so smart." I always tell my kids they can do anything, if they believe in themselves and the power they have in them through God. I looked at her and said, "Leighton do you know how smart you are", she shook her head, and her little tears began to fall. I told her say that "you are smart", and she said "I can't, because I'm not". I looked her straight in the eyes, and said "yes you are, and you need to believe you are. I think you are smart, Daddy thinks you are smart, and God knows because He made you". I began to remember this story at church when Pastor Rick, felt defeated, and he went to the mirror and started confessing the things that God says to us, like he was a child of God, and he can do all things...and how he immediately began to change, and feel strengthened. As I sat there with Leighton I realized at the age of 6, she had already felt defeated that the enemy had already began to speak his little lies to my daughter, well I was mad, this was a battle that the devil was not going to win! I brought Leighton into the mirror ( I know some people may think, I'm crazy, but this was my daughters future, and I was not going to let that stupid devil win!) and told her to look at herself and say that "I am smart". She was crying and wouldn't look at herself, but the words came out, very soft and quiet with no passion behind them..."I am smart", I said say them again, she began to say it over and over again, and soon she was looking at herself, and it was like she began to believe what she was saying. "I am smart, I am smart," I told her she had to believe it for herself, she really did begin to believe, because over the course of the year something began to change. She started to read better, her teacher began to notice a change, and she started enjoying school more. I honestly think something was broken off of her that day, this year she is doing so well, she has her occasional lower grades, and she still goes for extra help, due to a learning disability that was also got caught last year, but God did something in my little girl. She holds her head up high, loves to read, she's doing wonderful in school, and is always letting people know how smart she is. I still to this day, will stop and ask Leighton what are you?, and with the smile and the cutest little voice that only Leighton has, she boldly and with more confidence than ever will say "I am smart"