Stuck

I am stuck at home, with 6 kids today, we are out of milk, and many other things. I need to go to the store, Ashlyn needs her milk, but this means packing 5 kids and my nephew to the store to get milk. I know this sounds crazy but just this little thing is overwhelming me, and is making me cry. It's not the fact that we need, it's just the story of my life right now. I would love to have the freedom to pick up and leave any moment I desired to do so. I think this is something I took for granted 2 or 3 kids ago. It's just frustrating that I can't do anything about it, or my life is scheduled around other people.

The problem with this is how I feel about my life as a whole, stuck and not being able to do anything about it. Desires and dreams I have are either stuck by circumstances or I have no control over the decisions . I hate not being able to do the things I need to do or dream to see happen. I would never give up what I have to make things easier, never! I just wish it were easier.

It's hard being pulled so many different ways. Wanting my husband to have all his desires, and to feel as he has a purpose, but not being able to give them to him, because it's not in my hands. It's letting my children do all the things they want to do, and encouraging all their talents, but not having the time to do it all. Then trying to squeeze in a little time here and there for me, and my dreams.

It's not impossible I know, I know in time all things will come. I know I need to live for a time such as this, and only do what I can right now. It's a struggle that I'm having and hopefully will just begin to understand that the things we need or want are not always easy to get, but it doesn't change the fact that we still need them. It doesn't change the fact that circumstances are there and they get in the way sometimes, but ultimately what we need and want are worth over coming these circumstances. It's always worth the fight when victory is at the end.