for these moments

This morning Ashlyn wanted to get on the potty, she pulled down her pants herself, put the seat on the toilet and started to try to get on herself. She couldn't do it all herself, so I helped her take off the diaper, and put her on the toilet, which she sat on for 15 minutes, trying her hardest to go. I'm not beginning to potty train her, she's only 20 months old, she just wanted to do this all on her own. She never went, this isn't one of those "brag" moments about potty training, It more about the amazement of this little girl, the wonders of who she is. That she is a girl, and before her I have 2 boys, another girl, and a boy. My other daughter was never as determined to be this independent, or determined to keep up with her older brother. If anything Leighton (now 7) has always held on to staying my baby, while my baby seems to be determined to be my big girl. I'm just amazed at the difference between boys and girls, but also the difference between each of my children. Ashlyn is know as our little monkey, because she never stops climbing on things, and trying new things, she's always tried to keep up with the other children, and do things she's not "age appropriate" for yet. She is such a perfect mixture of all the kids it just amazes me, it's as if from the moment she was born she start taking a little from each of the my kids. She has Brennan's determination, Leighton's girly side and sensitivity, Hayden's goofyness and joy, and Cohen's stubbornness. I'm just in a little shock at how fast they all grow, that my baby is already becoming a big girl, and my oldest is 9, that the past 9 years have been the happiest times of my life, I can't wait for what else is in store. I love, love, love the baby years, but I am looking forward to growing with my kids, as they grow and learn, I pray that I will grow and learn through each of them how to be a better mother, and learn to be more like them, and enjoy these times. Enjoy the moment of taking a little girl, who is clearly not ready to potty train, and just wants to sit on the potty, while a little part of me knows this is a waste of time in the sense that she is not going to go, but everything in me knows that there is no such thing as a waste of time, when it comes to being with your kids, when it comes to encouraging your kids to do what you know they will be able to do one day, no matter how small the task may be. To speak already, I believe in you, or I'm here no matter what you need, yes I have a million other things I could be doing, but you are more important. I hope I will remember these words, I know sometimes I won't, I am human after all, but I pray that I would remember that as a mother, everything I do counts to these little hearts. I love them so much, and I feel so, so blessed.